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If this is the case in your marriage, then having some discussions with him is in order, and if that isn’t getting anywhere, talking to a third party to help you work this out is likely in order, too. You can’t say, “we won’t have any more kids”, but simultaneously say “but I’m not willing to do anything about it.” That’s a cop out. You really need to sit down and talk about family size and timing. Let’s be honest about what we’re doing and not spiritualize it. So you’re not willing to do any work at all, but you’ll pray that you won’t get pregnant–and then trust God even though you’re not taking the precautions you should? Come on. And for that reason, her feelings about getting pregnant need to factor into the birth control discussion.Īnd you can make a pretty strong case that Scripture tells men that they are to consider their wives’ bodies: Yes, the baby would belong to both of you, but the repercussions for getting pregnant fall heavily on the woman. It is your body that will have to nurse the baby if you do get pregnant. It is your body that will have to carry the baby. You bear the most repercussions from getting pregnant I’d like to think through a few principles here. Now–Do you have to have sex if you don’t want to get pregnant, and he won’t help prevent pregnancy?
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Even ask your husband to help you with this! When you know that it’s safe, you’ll feel better about making love on those times. The key to feeling relaxed about it is to get as much information as you can and then start charting. And many of us can FEEL when we ovulate (I hurt for about 12 hours), so three days later I’d be good to go, too. Get to know your body and trust your body. Remember: it is physically impossible to get pregnant when there is no egg present. What if you don’t ovulate at the same time every month? There are other ways to check–like checking your cervical mucous. Just read up a s much on the subject as you can until you’re comfortable. Then you just stop sex for two days before that and up to 5 after, although many sites will tell you that you really don’t have to stop for more than 3-4 days. Track yourself for a few months, and you’ll get a sense of about how many days after your period starts that you ovulate. When you know when your fertile times are, you also know when your infertile times are. Now many of these sites are trying to help you get pregnant, but the principle is the same. Get some free printable charts to track your cycle here. You can do this by taking your temperature every morning at the same time, using a digital thermometer. But the fact is that’s also two weeks a month that are NOT off limits! Now, that may sound like a lot, because if you don’t make love during your period (and most women don’t), then that’s two weeks a month that are off limits if you don’t want to get pregnant AND don’t want to use any birth control. You can only get pregnant when viable sperm meets your egg when it is also viable, and that’s roughly 3-7 days a month. Honestly, you just can’t get pregnant everyday throughout the month. Here are some general thoughts, in no particular order: Before you decide anything–understand how your body’s fertility works